photo ops

I am so thankful to have an old nursing school buddy that has a flair for photography, offer to come take pics of my newborn. She wants more practice with newborns, and it just so happens I have one arriving. I have been admiring her work for awhile now, and I am super excited.

She is being so generous to make the trek up north. I have not seen Erin since college graduation in 2004. It is going to be a wonderful time of catching up and watching her work her magic on my kiddos.

You can see Erin and her sisters work here

http://shuttersistas.wordpress.com

Scared &#!^less

So emotions have been hitting me hard lately. I know hard to believe that in my last trimester I am getting overly emotional. These emotions that I am feeling are new. I have been realizing that not only am I having a newborn but how that newborn is getting here. I admit that I feel cheated that I can't deliver vaginally. In know that my body would be so good at it.


Now though, I am getting nervous about having a c-section. I am ashamed to feel scared and anxious ( I am a surgical nurse after all). The last time I went through this I was exhausted from 10 hours of labor and pushing (plus drugs), I was totally out of it and don't remember the details.

This time I will be sober awake and aware of what is going on around me. I know my husband will be there but he is to put it nicely squeamish.

Another thing that will bother me is that I won't get to hold the baby, till after I am out of PACU. One of the things that I can recall is saying,

"Um....can I see my baby".

My whole family and husband got to enjoy him while I was sitting in recovery waiting for a spinal to wear off at least on hour.

Well in the end it is what is best for me and baby, and I will have a lifetime to hold and snuggle her. I just need to get over this fear.

scary face

Well this is the only preview that we will get of our baby girl. After stripping away the layers of umbilical cord this is what we got. I Kind of think it looks like flames/smoke or that she is a ghost. I guess that means more surprise on D-day. Ahh.....what a long five weeks it will be.

trying not to freak out

The thought of soon being a mother to a newborn, is starting to make me freak out. Remembering the sleepless nights, the constant attachment of a child to my breast, and total exhaustion. In an attempt to not feel overwhelmed I have been reminiscing of the past. I bought newborn diapers and placed them in the pseudo nursery, I had forgotten how tiny and adorable they are. Next I watched video clips from my son's first year. It is an amazing process to watch this tiny thing grow and learn so much in just a year. I am trying to view things in the whole big picture not the daily struggles of trying to survive the day without breaking down. In the end they grow up so fast. Watching my boy go from sitting up on his own, to eating his first solid foods, to crawling then walking, running, and talking, it has got me excited to watch this amazing process happen again.

I apologize for the photo montage, but like I said reminiscing is helping!

His first rice cereal

Crawling and trying to pull down the curtain

Not enjoying his first birthday cake

Seven more weeks and baby girl will be here. I am getting excited and trying not to freak out!

What is this?

Well is it a closet, or a room? That would be my baby girls nursery. She won't have a room but a closet with dresser/changing table. The dresser has significance because it just so happens that it was my changing table when I was a wee lass.

Someday she will have her own room she just needs to be old enough to move to the downstairs with her older brother. I have officially signed the consent for her delivery on February 24th. I have a sneaking suspicion that she will not wait till this date. I have been having terrible Braxton Hicks contractions that hurt, and apparently it's normal that they are more intense with your second pregnancy.

I am predicting Feb 19, 2011 that Charlotte Alise will arrive at 8lbs 10oz and 20 inches long. Till then we are ready and waiting patiently to meet our baby girl!